Mmm...

Man, the Android SDK is barely at 25% completion and it's already 2:20. Jeez, I guess I'll just continue till I get knocked out of the current freeroll tourney I'm in.

Don't even know for who I'm writing this for, I don't expect anyone to actually subject to my arthritic grasp of english prose and I personally loath reading anything I've written. I guess it's just my natural egoism as a human. Though judging from everyone else's evaluation, my abnormally large egoism. Not sure I can disagree, maybe I do enjoy being the center of attention, though in my mind I just enjoy being able to discuss and debate.

Decided the last post was pretty LOL station centric and cut it there. That way the article can be best summarized as my inane musical logic to clusterfucking. Music really is a mental lubricant for me, so it makes sense listening to the station both caused me to find this blog and consequently talk about it to.

I always had all these idea's in my mind to spew on to the polluted ocean that is the internet. Ever since I got into the little phase of watching YouTube personalities like Thunderf00t, I wanted to mimic and start my own. It's hard though to really stop and nail one down. Usually when I find a tangent I nail it down pretty hard and don't stop till I run out of hammers. By then I forget my intention, lose a few minutes (or hour) and only gain a deeper insight in my own opinions and reality.

I also felt I couldn't pull off the vision I had of what I wanted to do. Maybe I set the bar a bit too high for myself, but I didn't want to just rant in front of a camera. Eventually though I did, but my constant tangenting eventually lead me astray enough that I completly forgot my desire to do.

This is my coming back to that idea I guess, better text than nothing. It has been getting pretty tiring to day dream only to realize all my words are now forever lost because I was not the same person that initially started the thinking. And no, my short term memory is pretty horrendous, it feels as if there's a black tunnel I can't access between information reception to storage. I can not access it until it's get fully processed, categorized and stored by my mind. By then though it's so diluted and summarized that it's pretty useless, like a video whose codec was made in 1994.

Maybe if I can make ranting on this blog a habit I can ease my aversion to my own writing, even going as far as embracing it as a tool for self-improvement. Earning the ability to philosophize in my mind and recant it without after-the-thought biasm. Ah well.

I guess I've arrived to my Achilles heel, I can now choose a topic to start opinionating to the point of making Glenn Beck seem intelligible. Yet I can't, at this point ideas are swirling, the fact that I 'cursed' a few paragraphs ago makes me feel a natural progression would to just vent on my views of profanity, probably touching (or going into) censorship. At the same time I feel that being such a trivial topic that I should go for something else, maybe something I've felt like venting for a bit like the price of Skirt steak, or a staple of mine like religion even. My attiudes towards obesity, my philisophy towards life, hell I can start implementing self-psychology I figure, personally the idea of never being able to return to a previous 'self' is interesting. Are you the same person if you found out that chick you just boned was your sister?

Sometimes I concoct ways to pass the buck, getting other peoples views on what I should spew about and etc. But for probably plentiful reasons it generally fails. My social communication skills aren't exactly up to par. Maybe I just see it a one shot deal, putting unfair pressure on my upcoming intent. If I write about this will I come to continue writing on other topics? Will this topic make me realize this masturbatory act is unappealing even to myself? Can I even pull it off? Will this topic be better than the other?

When it comes to initiating a project it takes a lot for me to get to the ignition sequence. Whether that project is an essay or responding to a yes or no question, it's why I've learned to cut that middle man out and just directly speak/type my mind. I personally find it fun because you can effectively talk to yourself, or even talk to three of yourself that way. Maybe it's just the lack of having philosophically inclined friends but I've managed to carry out debates from three perspectives that keep me entertained for a good hour or two.

You know what though? Screw it, we learn more from failures than success. I'll just take the first topic I said I'd discuss and run with it. This post/article has become unwieldy enough. And if you actually read through this article, I'd appreciate pointing out any English errors. :)